like glass

Friday, August 14, 2009


how can the sea be this quiet and calm ? - yesterday morning the crescent beach

calm and still as far as the eye can see

When sorrows come,
they come not single spies,
but in battalions

William Shakespeare

I woke up lonely this morning. Lonely at 5am. How can that be ? The day hasn't even begun. I sometimes wonder if loneliness is not the root of all my sadness. They do say that we're social creatures, that we're meant to spend time with others. I wonder also how did this happen ? after spending my whole life intentionally becoming strong, confident and independent - completely self reliant only to find out now, later in my life ... that's not who I want to be.

And maybe ... not who I ever was.

Those darn kittens are tearing around downstairs practicing some of their early morning high speed kitten antics, Miss D is waiting patiently curled up on the sofa, Bleet is outside doing whatever it is he does on his very early morning patrol around our tangled gardens. It's lavender bubbles and another new day dawning. Gulls and herons and crows, the sun's just beginning to spread it's golden light on the tree tops just outside my windows and the harbour once again is still and calm. Like glass.



16 comments:

  1. Sounds like job for a newly adopted Canadian Wild Woman, complete with at least a pound of thick cut bacon (American, thank you very much) ready for a crab hunt with the crab hound.

    You'll be begging to send me back to the States, thinking Oh, so this is the flip side of lonely.

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  2. Hi Susan, I feel lonely a lot of the time, too. But when I make social plans, I often feel like backing out at the last minute. What's that about?
    Beautiful photos, by the way... the water looks like a perfect mirror.

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  3. The question is do you have a chain saw, machete and bulldozer. Only guests with tools allowed. Maybe you could drive the dozer cross the border,avec the contraband bacon - that is if they'll let you in (actually the question is would they let you out and back into the US of A after hangin' with us Socialists).

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  4. Hey Judy, as I just said to B Shamu in an email it's the big ol' catch 22

    I'm lonely yet I actually like being alone.

    I think it becomes a bad habit - like biting your nails, you become isolated and somewhat handicapped in a social sense.

    Someone once referred to me as "socially reluctant". I should have that printed on a card and laminated to carry with me at all times - my get out of jail free card. "Sorry, I can't attend - I'm socially reluctant".

    It feels good to a know I'm not alone in my weirdness.

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  5. I'm fairly certain I can get my hands on a Bobcat. The chain saw and machete I already have. Not to mention a couple of hardhats. Do you socialists actually eat bacon?

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  6. I love these photos in comparison to yesterdays grey shots. What a difference a day can make in the perspective of the same thing....

    ...I always feel lonely at dawn and ofen at dusk - for me it is a bittersweet feeling of sorts that I just can't describe....

    ..i've gone back to my old URL....this is hannity grace I am now at smoochdog.squarespace.com

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  7. The shots are just amazing...
    Guess the sun is slowly peaking in..
    Seriously! How can the sea be so silent..Just beautiful!!!
    Shakespeare's verses was a poetic revival..Thanks for that too...:)
    Read some of your posts and I feel you are still '..strong, confident and independent..'
    Guess Miss D is having the time of her sleep in this cos weather...so nice!
    This was a nice post..Very Nostalgic!!
    Keep posting..:)

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  8. I am constantly flabbergasted by the beauty that surround where you live!!

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  9. error: 'surrounds you'.......

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  10. Susan - I have a husband and four kids (milling around at different times with friends and whoever!), and still sometimes, I can be so lonely. Just alone in the universe lonely. The DH and I are both 'socially reluctant', to the point of being ridiculous. A conversation about whether we should go out to dinner usually ends up with us deciding to stay home and cook. LOL! Maybe we need to form a club.

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  11. So lovely and still, and I can understand the loneliness too.

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  12. I am so very lonely, too. Very, very lonely. My home is also "tainted" by the loss of an earlier happy time. Lack of funds and loss of health have caused my home to become swallowed up with disrepair and the acres I used to love to become unlovely now. I am 64. Husband 70. What do we do? There are a lot of us in this predicament. Maybe we need a 12 step program or something! But I am glad we are able to find strength in talking to each other. Love to you, Susan, and thank you for sharing your deep feelings. Give the sweet animals (who is an animal?) a scratch and a kiss! I am now the proud owner of seven feral cats. Five are spay/neutered, and two to go. The three dogs are mystified. "Mama actually FEEDS these things? And takes them to the doctor?" I guess I am animal poor, but I have to take care of everything that appears at my door. Or try to, anyway. Bill put his foot down on the yardful of raccoons. So let's keep each other in prayer and continue to "stick together." Susan, you'll make it....I promise.

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  13. That is crystal like. Wow.

    "I sometimes wonder if loneliness is not the root of all my sadness."
    --you think?!! I would say that is a big part for many people. Whether we have good people around us or not we all need some measure of interactions or we slowly go bonkers I think!

    having your 7 hour shift is a good thing for you in that regard. It sounds like you have over succeeded a tad in your self sufficiency. Maybe not reliant enough on people?

    This blog though is a good measure of allowing you and all us bloggers a chance for community however wide spread or virtual that might be.

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  14. "socially reluctant?" Hmm..I like that descript. Very nice way to put that.

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  15. Sign me up for the "socially reluctant club"!! Wish you weren't so far away. Would love to have you and Miss D for a visit here to the land of Lincoln. Flat and boring in comparison to the beauty you capture and share with all of us. Thank you

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  16. I really enjoyed the pictures you shared in this post! The water looks so so calm and serene! And what a sharp contrast that sailboat provides with it's bright red color! Very enjoyable!

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