nearing the ending

Saturday, July 26, 2014

3 of my favourites, 2 favourite art pieces of mine + Oliver snoozing on the bathroom counter / wild blue daisy - chickory near the water / the view from my studio office chair - we love hummingbirds / that 3.99 Walmart mini rose is not so mini anymore / wild & tangled / rudbeckia ? / Miss D in the front garden - I love this house / more seaside wildflowers / & more orange roses / phlox / NessieNess loves this time of year / still life with audio books (all from the library) / crazy about the miniature forests of moss & lichen / where we left off last - not-so-brave / not sure what these sweet white blooms are / this photo shows where we live - look closely centre-ish of photo - that's our front ocean facing yard / & the above photo taken from this boardwalk exactly 139 steps from our front door 

All transitions are composed of an ending, a neutral zone and a new beginning William Bridges

I used to have a copy of William Bridges well known & much loved book Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes - I bought it years ago way before I met Doug and was in the process, by necessity, of getting ready to leave/sell 29 Black Street. Even though I'm in a much different & much better place now and the leaving is by choice & desire not by necessity I'm still finding the transition difficult. The end(ing) feels like it's just begun even though I've been planning this move, & knowing about for ages. It's become a reality and not just a fun dreamy topic of conversation.

I am nearing the ending, feeling the grief, sadness & worry, worry that I'll have regrets and at the same feeling quite confident that in the end I won't - I've been planning this move for a very long time. I'm ready, so ready to welcome the neutral zone + I'm almost there & then !! what's more exciting than a brand new beginning.

I'm ordering a new copy of this book today. Happy Weekend to all ;-)

I'm not gonna lie

Friday, July 25, 2014

so SO much to love about living here - my naturalist spirit loved coming across this periwinkle snail lounging outside his or her shell in the early morning sunshine / what can I say - the beautiful & magnificent sea, the sea / 3.99 Walmart (mini) rose planted outside in a sunny spot mulched well for the winter months has been doing a gorgeous peachy, apricot. orange-ish bloom-a thon / queen anne's lace along the harbour's edge / sea wall with seaweed / ocean shot with seaweed / blue wildflowers called Chickory (reminds us of our Blue Mountain friends) / seaside wild blooms / seaweed & sand / oh my I do love t,he miniature worlds of moss & lichen / the Prince made me a bracket for my new second floor studio hummingbird feeder - it's been non stop hummer traffic - LOVE / more queen annes's lace a different perspective / & sigh - along the crescent beach - I will miss so much

It's funny really ... I have thought, planned, schemed & dreamed of leaving here 29 Black Street for forever - since way before Doug, the Prince of All fantastic things - but now as that time actually becomes real, close, imminent I am struck with dread, with foreboding, with worry, fret, anxiety. What if I have regret ? What if I miss this place ? What if I long to have it back ? What if I feel like I've made a huge mistake ??

How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be Elizabeth Lesser

I love my home, my house, my gardens, my property, my big, natural, beautiful, private incredible bubble + I love my easy access to the sea (139 steps exactly). Period. I do not love anymore the small village-ness, the lack of stimulation, the work & maintenance of a huge house & double size lot (actually that is Doug's dept. but he doesn't want to spend SO much time with that constant up keeping) up keeping that I know I have no desire (or time) to try and take on. I want, we want a way smaller, simpler, easier life  - tiny life, a really tiny life so that we can focus our energies on our individual passion & efforts on things we love to do rather than things we feel we have to do (and fortunately we each have loads of passions in spades). No boredom here !

But ... I'll be the first to admit that the closer this gets the more it makes me feel - a little crazy (in the bad way) I'm hoping that the person(s) that eventually buy this beautiful home & property will take over it's stewardship for us, that they will love & care for it as we have & ultimately that will give both Doug & I great peace of mind - it's amazing how attached you can become to a home. I'm not gonna lie this process is freaking me out a little, it's been feeling really hard, harder than I expected - it's a huge life transition.

Here's our current short list of potential new home locations (listed in my personal favourite order)

Charlottetown - PEI
Lunenburg - NS
St. Andrews -NB
Bear River - NS
Digby - NS
Annapolis Royal - NS

brave art part 1

Thursday, July 24, 2014

process photos 1. almost ready for paint 2. my little thumbnail inspiration I want to create more art about the sea after feeling quite pleased with this recent nautical themed piece with Rumi quotation 3. the dreaded blank canvas - this is a wood panel with 1" sides 4. choosing my palette and paper choices 5. 6. & 7. diving in cutting, tearing & gluing down with gel medium 8. A Tiny Life No. 7 my style inspiration - how I'd like this final mixed media piece to feel (combination of paint, collage, drawing & mark making) 9. ready to screw it up  ;- ) ready to begin adding the mixed media parts - the scary part - but I know I must just dive in

To live a creative life we lose our fear of being wrong Joseph Chilton Pearce

Two great quotes come to mind as I struggle with creating something new & fresh - as I struggle to be fearless and to summon my creative brave heart. I've been ask to donate art to a fundraising event for Ships Company Theatre in Parrsborro about an hour's drive from here on the beautiful Bay of Fundy coast. I have my Etsy shop giclee prints, printed elsewhere so to save both time and money on framing I decided it best to leave my new best buddy Photoshop out of this creative equation (at least for now and the actual donation piece). I always scan my work as I go so that I have all the various stages (1. & 9. in this case) saved as high res jpgs because there's a very good chance I will use them again in some other digital format. But this piece will be all non digital, just me, a canvas, lots of paint, ink, tools and my brave heart ;-) Will post the next stage soon (tomorrow or Sunday). I have to remind myself - it's OK to screw up - such a hard thing to accept.

ps. I signed up & am listening/watching the fearless collage demos of Mati Rose's Daring Adventures in Collage & her Daring Adventure in Paint both on sale now & lifetime access to content - that's what sold me, a go-at-your-own-pace + have the 5 week course content forever (sung by that chorus of angels).

You can't wait for inspiration, 
you have to go after it with a club 
Jack London