the truth, today

Thursday, October 30, 2014


pure dog joy - from the left Duke, Winnie Dixon & Maggie Sue low tide on the Pugwash Point beach circa 2008 (I'm guessing)

Usually we walk around constantly believing ourselves. "I'm okay" we say. "I'm alright". But sometimes the truth arrives on you and you can't get it off. That's when you realize that sometimes it isn't even an answer–it's a question.  Markus Zusak - The Book Thief

The truth, today is not the same as the truth was Saturday or Sunday or Monday or Tuesday. The truth seemed to arrive on Wednesday after lunch. The truth being I miss her ... I can't believe she's not here. After all those flurried few days of worry & fret, of decision making & details to organize & most of all spending what I knew would be my final moments and hours of quality time with my Winnie girl, chatting, reminiscing and reminding her how much I loved her. Now that all that busy-dust has settled and things are somewhat back to normal (?) the truth today is

I keep wondering, a million moments throughout today, where is she ? where did she go ?

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Khalil Gibran


shaggalicious

Wednesday, October 29, 2014









It may be in harm's way
but as long as I'm with you
and at the end of a long, long day 
there is not much more to say 
than love, I'm so glad I met you. 
Royal Wood 

Winnie & I thank you for all the loving comments left here since Monday's post. It especially makes me happy that you felt so much like you knew her so well & that you loved her too. I wanted you all to know that I'm doing much better than you might have expected, I've been preparing (& over preparing) for Monday for a very, very long time. It wasn't in the end a difficult decision to make, what's difficult is the huge empty space she's left behind. Goodness that Dee girl she managed to take up plenty of space in my days, in my mind and most of all in my heart ... and for almost 15 years.

She & I were meant to be together.

Our favourite Royal Wood song

dear Winnie Dixon

Monday, October 27, 2014
















top photo is from last week

Dogs are minor angels, and I don't mean that facetiously. They love unconditionally, forgive immediately, are the truest of friends, willing to do anything that makes us happy, etcetera. If we attributed some of those qualities to a person we would say they are special. If they had ALL of them, we would call them angelic. But because it's "only" a dog, we dismiss them as sweet or funny but little more. However when you think about it, what are the things that we most like in another human being? Many times those qualities are seen in our dogs every single day-- we're just so used to them that we pay no attention.
Jonathan Carroll

Our days, Miss D & mine ... together

A post from May 2013 / our nearly 15 years worth of days are coming to an end - I'm quite sure of it. I bless her beautiful soul for rejoicing & bounding with grace & love into her 16th year and I relish in how lucky I am to have shared her company for such a very long time. But our days together, they are diminishing. I see it, I feel it, I resist it, yet I am grateful for it. I don't want to hold her back. I know how very lucky I have been to have this beautiful shaggalicious, odd, neurotic, fearful, crab killing, muskrat hunting, & extremely loving girl with me for 14 + years. Wow ! I watch her lurching gracefully into her 16th year. She, who's been with me for forever - it seems ... who's comforted me through so many near unbearable sadnesses. I love her, desperately. I cannot imagine life without her.

I love you Winnie Dixon with all my heart. Here's to our remaining days xoxo Susan
I love you & I promise I will not cling to you. & I will forever rejoice in all of our glorious days together. Always.

to live in this worldyou must be able
to do three things
to love what is mortal;
to hold it 
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,

let it go
Mary Oliver

Today, October 27th 2014 is that day - the time has come to let you go Missy D. Oh my ! my sweet girl the many adventures we've shared. You have been my constant companion for such a very long time I do find it hard to imagine my life without you, but thankfully I never will be without you because you have a permanent home in my heart and our life together will live on in words and in photos, hopefully forever, here on this blog. I adore you Winnie Dixon & I always will ! xoxo Susan

Miss Winnie (Darn) Dixon / January 1999 - October 2014

Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. 
Rumi