Tuesday, November 18, 2014
my new home as of this weekend - lovely seaside Lunenburg, Nova Scotia I'm on a different coast, I'm on the Atlantic ocean
what I was born for
to look, to listen,
to lose myself
inside this soft world
to instruct myself
over & over ...
next chapters ... or maybe it's more like the second book in a trilogy ... my trilogy
they say your life changes dramatically every 7 years, someone said that I'm sure of it. This blog turned 7 on July 13th of this past year, this incredible record of my life in photos & words, honestly my most cherished "thing" in life is this journal of memories, change, appreciation, struggle(s), growth & love. BIG, huge love & lots of it.
I'm sure to many of you reading this post it will seem like a shock to learn that I have moved (to Lunenburg, Nova Scotia) just like that. Like Samantha the good witch on the TV program from my childhood Bewitched I've twinkled my nose a couple of times, said yes to opportunity & adventure. Said yes also to both trust & faith. Said a final goodbye to my home, 29 Black Street, of nearly 22 years and said a sudden but resounding YES ! to a 6 month sublet, in a gorgeous historic house, fully furnished in the heart of old towne Lunenburg.
I knew this was where I wanted to be even though I haven't been to this community for nearly 30 years and then it was a brief visit that I can barely recall. I said yes to the 6 month house rental without seeing one photo of the interior. I didn't feel frightened or nervous or worried at all ... I felt mostly relief. I just knew it was all right, all meant to be. My one little word for this year is faith and as this year nears it's end I'm realizing what an absolutely perfect word/practice having faith is. Especially having faith in myself, my choices and my decisions.
I LOVE it here ... I am giddy with delight & anticipation. The house is beautiful and perfect in every way. Things that aren't perfect have become perfect because I am allowing them to be exactly what that are, whatever that might be.
I feel like I have a new lease on life ... and in fact I do ;-)
Oliver & Virgil have moved with me. I bought them little tartan collars & ID tags just in case they escaped their new home. Doug, Samuel & Itty Bitty Betty have remained in Pugwash to finish the second floor readying for the sale of 29 Black Street (I will soon add a link to the 4 sale site in my sidebar). Doug & Sam will be visiting us regularly, winter weather permitting, and in the meantime we are all snug as bugs in our new home & I have lots of exciting new work projects on the go to keep me busy - that along with meeting as many people as I can here in Lunenburg, scoping out my next home and exploring (with camera in tow) this amazing place.
Surrender to what is.
Let go of what was.
Have faith in what will be.
my new home for the next 6 months, my new office & my Creative Director Oliver, working hard as usual ;-)
Thursday, November 6, 2014
miss winnie dixon this week at our big rock a stop along our morning walk
she listens to my woes
she laughs at all my jokes
she sits patiently and waits while I stop to investigate something
a shell, a worn piece of beach glass an insect or a piece of bone
when I stop to take photographs she sits quietly just looking around
she's looking for muskrats, groundhogs or cats that don't belong to her
she is a terrier girl with a bit of sight hound thrown in
she's on a leash often because of this - if she spied a small moving mammal
she'd be off, gone like a shot and there would be no calling her back
and I couldn't bare to lose her - so I keep her close by me
she's 10, she'll be 11 in January - how can that be - it seems like only yesterday
she came to live with us when she was 1, from the shelter
she loved Jake & Em instantly, they became her pack - she fit right in
it seems to me like she's always been here
I can't remember what my life might have been like without her
we've said some big goodbyes, she and I and we've lived through big sadness
she loves to keep me company in the car when I do errands
again she sits patiently waiting, keeping the car safe and keeping my seat warm
she sleeps in a bed under my desk while I work
and she lays curled at my feet on my bed while I sleep
she loves to just sit on the grassy hill overlooking the harbour
each evening we both stare up at the clouds racing across a blue sky
above the glistening water
I lie down and she lies down beside me and I hold her paw in my hand
and we just lie there, the breeze blowing over us and nothing
in the world seems to matter
I put my face in her fur and I breathe in and I try to burn these memories in
how she smells, the funny little groaning noises she makes if I scratch her just so
into me - I try to burn her into my heart so I'll always have her ... with me
and I tell her how much I love her over and over again
and I wish we could stay there, like that - forever.
* a post from August 27 2009 - oh how my own blog archives have been helping me with my grief & sadness, helping me to "be with" my beautiful shaggalicious girl... my dear, sweet Winnie Darn Dixon
Monday, November 3, 2014
My Winnie Dixon enjoying our big beautiful & very green fenced in backyard
Grief reunites you with what you've lost. It's a merging; you go with the loved thing or person that's going away. You follow it a far as you can go. Philip K. Dick
You just can't prepare yourself for the missing them part, for the missing her, my Winnie Dixon. You can't imagine how many times a day you'll think that they're still here but they're not. I guess I'm having a bit of a delayed reaction. I thought I was prepared for lots of things but I couldn't prepare for this.